Views from the sidelines of a non existent culture war.

Another week in the non existent culture war and the causality count rises but not so much that you need to drag yourself away from your ethically sourced, vegan, decaffeinated latte and your instagram post about saving the whales. And I’m not saying whales don’t need to be saved. Please don’t turn me into a whale hater because the truth is a bit more complex.

Truth invariably is, lacking the moral certainty of the sound bite or the mantra or the outright lie.

“Women aren’t being silenced,” they say, “especially not cishet, white, middle class, suburban mothers, whose language and sense of entitlement is rooted in their anglo saxon colonist heritage.”

“You haven’t read “White Fragility?”” they ask, their face the same shade of shocked as when your ma figured out you weren’t going to mass of a Sunday. “Too fragile,” I quip, irony lost to a crowd of humourless hecklers who have been told to laugh is like to lynch.

“Ok boomer!” they say, in a refrain that would be ageist, if ageism was a new age sin. “It’s not really mocking the elderly,” they explain, “only the greedy, gammon types, with their racism and their ignorance and their pathological refusal to boycott Wetherspoons.”

“We don’t ban books,” they say, “we ban bad books. Bad books are literal violence.” Any attempt to speak of the relativity of the term “bad” is mute, like when you try to tell your aunt that her local priest’s a flasher.

“If you don’t take the knee,” they say , “then you might as well put holes for eyes in your bed sheets and tattoo a swastika on your arse.” Whilst racism itself can be characterised by limitless macro and micro aggressions, anti racism has but one calling card. Bend down, then back up and cool off with a vitamin enriched natural spring water, infused with potassium and zinc.

The non-existent culture war is killing critical thought and replacing it with mindless mantras and pointless gestures. A generation raised to believe that disagreement is violence and difference is hate, damning itself to implosion from within as the real world rejects its 2D version of humanity, where people are caricatures and political thought is a concept that must be contained.

The non existent culture wars, where the privileged came and conquered the concept of “civil rights”, repackaged them in recycled paper, added some rainbow ribbons and stamped on a fist, before refurbishing them and selling them back to the kids, raised on the internet, that weren’t buying any revolution that was not televised.

And so it came to be that big corporations and big governments stood in solidarity with “civil rights” and they all mouthed the same slogans and advocated for the same stuff, in some countries. Ain’t gonna sell no jeans in Saudi with a rainbow flag, Levi’s. No computers in China with a free speech logo, Apple.

And the absolute genius of corporate civil rights is how little they cost, once you remove class as a signifier of need. Want to increase sales? Ramp up the social media output using the words “love” and “change” and “difference”. Improve staff morale? Hire a team of “divistery” experts that expose the outright ordinariness of most of your workforce and make them feel bad for decisions they neither participated in or benifit from. Damn sight cheaper than them an 8% pay rise, or putting in a room for breastfeeding, or putting the structures in place that address actual inequality in the workplace.

And with unions not fit for purpose and women’s orgs decrying women and anarchists censoring books, the corporate take-over of political ideas, they had no business stealing, is almost complete.

And here, in the dying embers of a democratic process, I stand on the ravaged remains of a traditionally left leaning Scotland that is arching further right, beneath the strain of a non existent culture war and I can’t help but be grateful.

How much worse would things be if this culture war was real and not only in the heads of racists, white supremacists, neo nazi netmummers, religious right, zealotry, football watching, God fearing, Wetherspoon’s drinking, brexit voting, Churchill worshipping, colonist mindset thinking, pie eating types?

Woke and Dagger

Why did Mhairi Black cross the road? To make derogatory remarks about women on the other side.

Obviously, I’m joking.  Nobody defames anybody on the side of the road, anymore.  Not since the advent of twitter.

It’s been a drag for Mhairi the last twenty four hours as she deals with the fallout of a her monumentally stupid decision to  bring an adult entertainer called flowjob (with a very adult public social media profile) to a primary school gig in order to promote LGBT+ history month, and her even stupider one, to defend the decision.

The woman famed in her maiden speech  for being in touch with, even the voice of, the ordinary person seems to no longer be able to read Jo Public’s mind.  She has fallen victim to a faith based ideology that demands a suspension of critical thinking and a psychological distancing from non believers, in this case, the voting public.

She has  been awokined.   Not for her the rational discourse of ordinary individuals with their mundane concerns, like their kid not being groomed in the schoolyard.  Not for her the hideous banality of the common woman with her ignorant insistence that she exists as part of a sex class.  Not for her the subtle distinction between being a gay role model suitable for children and an adult drag act.  Not for her the nuance of debate because the slogan says #nodebate and not for her to question slogans.

And any day now, she’s going to crash land in the nursing home of political irrelevance, where all the so woke they’re actually broke politicians go to die, and isn’t that a crying shame?

Not as shameful, though, as slandering individuals concerned with safeguarding, as if safe guarding wasn’t the single most important feature of any school activity.  Given that the council involved has since apologised,there can be no doubt that this was an ill considered visit.

The response, however, to tarnish the reputation and question the morality of those who disagree, that was measured and pretty textbook. But the good news is, it’s getting old, as more and more people wake up to the logistical and practical problems of wokeness without end.

I know I’m supposed to prefix or suffix this post with an assurance that I’m not homophobic, right wing or Christian.  I know I’m supposed to reassure you that I’m anti Brexit and pro a multi cultural, diverse society, but I refuse to play these games anymore.  The stakes are too high.

In and of itself, the decision to expose primary school children to a drag queen, with a hardcore public social media profile, was a gross error of judgement that reveals a council, a principal and a politician more concerned with appearing to do the right thing than actually doing it.