The Shaming of the Shrew

Yesterday afternoon, absentmindedly, I tripped and fell into the comments section of a Edinburgh based social media group.  I’m okay, still a little shaky and following my doctor’s advice – to stay the fuck away from Community facebook pages.  You may think it’s extreme to call an emergency doctor because you’ve suffered a bruised ego, but that’s how entitled I am.

My website calls me Triona, but lately I’ve been called Karen several times.

I thought about putting up a copy of my birth cert, blanking out bits and showing enough for people to see I’m not Karen, and then I realised they didn’t mean it literally.

Like when a woman is called a whore or a cunt or a bitch, or in more recent times, a terf.  These words aren’t meant to suggest that a woman referred to in these terms is an actual prostitute, vagina, dog or feminist.  They are simply shorthand for misogynists who want to express the universal language of woman hating, in easily understood terms.

And every generation has their own words, but the millennia old tradition of putting women in their place continues.

It’s too late for me to avoid the Karen label.  It is as inevitable as the terf label that proceeded it.  Too mouthy.  See?  In my defence, I was born this way and despite the many successive attempts of the system and violent men to shut me up, I continue to have opinions and to voice them.  But it’s not too late for you. Here are my top tips to avoid being labelled Karen.

(1) Don’t ever express an opinion in a public setting, be it real or virtual.

(2) Whenever possible, avoiding leaving the house, as this will minimise your chances of being overheard, unwittingly, saying something no longer sayable.

(3) In the privacy of your home, stick to talking about stuff you know and avoid all controversial subjects. Most subjects are now controversial so try to keep conversation in the present tense around action words.   For example, you might say, ‘I am doing the laundry.  Do people mind gathering their stinking socks and stained undergarments and leaving them in the washing basket?’

(4) Avoid Mumsnet like it was a recently revived wing of the I.R.A.  Beneath those recipes for fruit scones and advice links to government benefits, there lurks an underbelly of resistance to the whole scale takeover of Womanhood.  Nothing gets you called Karen quicker than resisting the whole scale takeover of Womanhood.

(5) As some of you will have jobs that necessitate leaving the house and compel you to converse about controversial subjects (almost everything) try to be the listener more than the talker.  When you speak, acknowledge your privilege, ignorance and all round gratitude that you’ve been given a voice and then use it to amplify the experiences of people that aren’t you.  Never, ever, centre yourself in any discussion, even with your shrink.

(6) If, as part of your job, you are expected to research your discipline, be aware research has evolved significantly.  Where once it was a pre-requisite to have a well read, intelligent view of a subject, now less is more.  Knowledge will be a handicap and sharing it a surefire, short route to a new nickname.

(7) Woke words evole quicker than conspiracies about Corona, so best to always follow another’s lead.  Underpinning any work focused, compulsory communication should be the clear understanding that words kill, literally, and wokeness kills the meaning of all words, figuratively.

(8) Are you confused yet?  If not, I don’t think I can help you.  Confusion is good, use it to keep you off balance and fearful.  The more afraid you are, the more you will self censor and not add to the workload of the oppressed, who have to take time away from fighting big oppressors – the state, the police, the government, their parents – to explain to you the devastating consequences your micro aggressive behaviour – hogging the office heater- has on the life expectancy of the indigenous tribes of New Guinea.

To summarise, erase from your mind any pre-conceptions of your powerlessness based on your own life experiences.  You may never have been able to get the fucker to pay child support, but are so omnipotent that if you retweet a J.K. Rowling comment, a gender non conforming child loses their wings and the whole world becomes a shade darker.

 

 

 

The good man paradox

Not all men are wankers but enough of them are, to come out in force and say that they’re not all wankers, whenever you point to the actions of any given wanker, or group of wankers.  As if this is relevant.  As if I’m supposed to care that some bloke in Cardiff raises his three kids because their mother abandoned them.

As if that, somehow, negates the crisis in family courts, where violent men gain access to kids and violent male sexual predators gain custody of kids.  Or the crisis in rape prosecutions, where less than 2% of rapists (men) are convicted for their crimes.  As if that will save the life of either of the women killed by their male partners this week in Britain.

It should be self evident that anecdotal examples of compassion, or even simply  of taking responsibility – I’m talking to you, doting Dad from Cardiff – have no real place in a conversation about the epidemic of male violence that’s never gone away.  And yet, it’s such a common ploy among the defensive, that it has its own acronym – NAMALT.

In the week since the British rape victim returned from Cyprus, the internet has been awash with rapists, rape apologists and rape enthusiasts.  Any rape that makes headlines becomes a catalyst for all that is dark and damaged and depraved and downright dangerous about online mankind to surface.  Keyboard warriors across the globe celebrate her conviction because it makes them feel better about their own, unsanctioned crimes.

‘I was accused of rape once.’  They say.  Only once?

‘THE LYING WHORE SHOULD BE LOCKED UP!’  They shout.

‘It’s women like her that make it harder for real victims to get justice’  They proclaim, but never qualify how.

And as awful as these rants are, they somehow make sense.  In a world where one in five women are sexually assaulted, there’s got to be a lot of rapists, and most of them will be able to type.  A case that highlights the brutality of rape, the corruption of police investigations, the incompetence of legal systems, and the complicity of political systems  is a case with a lot to prove.  Rapists have a lot to defend.

What never makes sense to me is those who do believe her, but still want you to know that not all men are like a group of Israeli rapists.

‘It is important,’ they tweet, ‘that you remember there is good men in the world.’

Why is that important?  In what way does that empower the victim of a savage gang rape and an international miscarriage of justice?  In a world where men do most of the killing and raping and maiming, I can see how it’s comforting to know that your Barry puts the tea on the table four nights a week and always picks the girls up from ballet.  I just don’t see why it’s important.

The existence of good men is not what we question when groups of men conspire to deny a rape victim justice, but the persistence of bad men.  Not all men are gang rapists of teenage tourists, but gang rape is an exclusively male crime.  If we can’t call a spade a spade, for fear of hurting the good man’s ego, or the happy wife’s happy life, then perhaps these people are neither as good nor as content, as they contend.

Not all writers think like me.  If you like this you will also like my debut novel Nailing Jess.

Losing My Religion…

I’m not much of a believer but I do believe in the sanctity of single sex spaces. Based on my own experience, there are times in some women’s lives, and moments in all women’s lives, where they must be with other women, and only women.

I know men find this threatening.

It’s ironic, given that safety is the primary reason why women choose to congregate alone or seek out a provider of single sex services. When we’ve been attacked in our own homes, for example, and we have to flee, we want to flee to a space where there are no other men. Even though there are good men, who have never hurt us, we don’t care. We want a ‘No Man Zone’ to recover from the damage of the last man.

And the law gets it. Or it used to.

There was always those disgruntled about single sex spaces and women meeting without the men. Mostly men. This is understandable when we consider that men have been in charge of everything, forever, and are used to going anywhere they want, anytime they want, unrestricted.

But such men were out of touch with a changing world. Men’s Right’s Activists – MRAS, seeking to repeal rape laws and revoke women’s rights outside the home, never really took off…with women.

Just like you can’t convince a turkey to vote for Christmas, MRAS couldn’t get large numbers of women to campaign for polices that would see them disadvantaged.

What to do?

As the MRAS couldn’t change their demands, the only option available to them was to change their request. And the world’s most successful advertising campaign was born.

Enter stage left – Transgenderism.

Transgenderism is the belief in a gendered soul. It is the whacky, off the wall idea that people can be born in the wrong bodies, and therefore need surgery and life long medication to align with their true selves.

Except when they don’t.

Sometimes the condition is severe and requires medical intervention. This seems to be particularly true of young women, who move from binders to double mastectomy to infertility, before they have time to mature and consider the enormous ramifications of choices they are not old enough to make. Other times, the condition needs no medical intervention and can be alleviated with a marks and spencers bra and a pound shop lip-stick. This seems especially true of middle aged and older men, who seek to be perceived and legally recognised as women, but don’t want to be castrated for the cause.

What has any of this to do with Women’s Rights?

There’s been batshit crazy religions – suggesting women are sub-ordinate to men- in existence, forever. Spare Rib, anyone?

Why has this one, suggesting that the noun ‘woman’ isn’t a materially valid description of a type of human being, namely ‘women’,  gained such mainstream appeal? Other than the fact that it’s profoundly woman hating, and woman hating never went out of style.

It is because there is no separation of church and state on this issue. It is because the left, famous for their atheist approach to politics, has fallen into a black hole called trans ideology where new age buzz words meet biblical belief systems.  They never figured out it was a religion because it was posed as ignorant to even ask.

And here we are, with a kooky set of beliefs being sold as absolute truths to a gullible Western audience, made dim by authoritarian artists and ill informed celebrities, and politicians who will not do their jobs, for fear of criticism from a religion that does not bear scrutiny, which is why the logo ‘No Debate’ is No Accident.